The true horror of Beacon
by FiddlerTheClown
Summary: When Naruto gets sick and tired of being pushed around he get's offered help by none other than the kyuubi, With an exclamation of "Why the fuck not!" he travels to a new world to kick some ass, with some help from the voices inside his of course. (They wouldn't let me use insanity as genre) Rated M for swearing and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**A knew beginning. **Konoha, the village hidden in the leaves, a place of prosperity,peace and happiness. But alas, like many a fickle thing in this world the good comes hand in hand with the bad regardless of words such as fairness and equality.

Hidden away in an alley in this village a little boy was well aware of this as every kick or punch or stab pulsed through him. His name was of course Naruto Uzumaki the pariah of the leaf village, the so called "demon child" on account of the nine tailed demon fox; the kyuubi being sealed inside of him to save the village, his evening was spent as most of them did; getting the living shit kicked out of him.

But, as he lay there bleeding something changed in mind, something** snapped. **"screw this village"he thought to himself "you bastards are gonna' pay, I'm going to become as powerful as I can here then I'm going to leave you all to rot in this is shithole of a village."

He heard a chuckle, a dark chuckle. "Hey, who the hell was that?" he exclaimed his head whipping around, his eyes narrowed suspiciously and just like that he blacked out.

# # # # # # # # # # #

He sat up groggily, his eyes drinking in the scenery. He was in some sort of sewer ankle deep in water, there were pipes on the walls and the ceiling.

"Well, if those asshole villagers dumped me in here I might as well find some way out" and with those words of wisdom he started following the maze-like 'sewer'

As he rounded one of the many corners he suddenly stumbled into a massive chamber which had a set of massive bars almost like a cell, but what drew the majority of his attention was the demonic essence in the air that appeared to be wafting from the other side of the cage.

"**Come here little child"**a deep growling voice boomed from the cage. Naruto tilted his head and wondered out loud "are you a paedophile or something?" Just like that the head of a MASSIVE fox slammed into the floor in what appeared to be some sort of facepalm.

Naruto chuckled to himself, his earlier anger forgotten in the comical value of this fifteen story, nine tailed fox. "Wait, a FIFTEEN STORY, NINE TAILED fox" he exclaimed inside of his head but on the outside his eyes only narrowed. He had learned long ago to hide his emotions from the villagers.

"You're the kyuubi aren't you?" he questioned

The massive fox had gotten back onto his feet and smirked **"At least you seem to be quite a bit more intelligent than my last container" **the fox said with a bit of relief in his voice.

"Hhhmmm container?" Naruto questioned "I'm assuming that we're in my mindscape then"

"**I take that back, you're MUCH smarter than my last container" **the fox stated** "It seems like your hate** ** filled life has forced you to grow up fast, good. Anyway I heard what you said earlier about leaving this village and I couldn't agree more, in the mean time I might as well teach you some tricks while we steal all the secrets this village has to offer."**

"What's the catch?" Naruto snapped back almost instantly, he'd learned long ago not to trust anyone. All trust got you was a knife in the back, literally in his case.

"**As perceptive as ever I see** " the fox stated **"In return I would like to be freed of this damnable cage, of course only when I send you to another dimension"**

For once during the entire conversation Naruto looked confused "and what, my furry friend, would you possibly mean by that?" he replied.

"**Well, if you leave the village they will undoubtedly send hunter squads after their 'weapon' and while they would be little more than an annoyance, as the name suggests they will become annoying after a while. Also it'll be hilarious to see where you end up. Deal?"**

Naruto thought it over for a while, to be honest there wasn't much of a choice but he wasn't complaining "screw it, why not" he said "it's a deal"

He stuck his hand out in a fist with a small smile on his face. The fox quickly recovered from his shock and gave the kid a fist-bump. **"Now drop down and give me fifty!"**the fox shouted.

"god-damnit" Naruto mumbled to himself as he started the push-ups "what have I gotten myself into?"

# # # # # # # # #

6 years on we find are favourite blond leaning against a tree watching with barely concealed hatred as he watched his so called 'sensei' peak at girls through his so-called 'peaky hole of super awesomeness'

But Naruto's patience was limited and after 6 years of acting like a retard to fool the villagers of the hidden leaf as his shadow clones travelled across the elemental nations learning as many techniques as was physically possible he had had enough.

"See you later ero-sennin" he said once again putting up his self-dubbed retard mask, it had taken so much effort to force the happy smile onto his face everyday he had almost been driven insane by it, he wasn't even going to mention to will-power it took to hold back in almost every fight he had been involved in.

As he jumped away, barely noticing his sensei's nod he heard a gravelly voice speak in his head.

"**Dear god please tell me we're actually getting out of here!" **the fox cried in excitement. He'd been incredibly bored ever since he'd thought everything he knew to Naruto, and with everything he knew already taught he'd basically fallen asleep for roughly two years.

"Indeed my fuzzy furball of a friend, the last of my shadow clones have finished in the hidden sand village and so I believe it's finally time to ditch this place."

After about half an hour of tree jumping he touched down in a clearing on the border of fire country. "Thank whatever god exists, it's time to go!" Naruto shouted relief as he felt the familiar sense of being pulled into his mind as he blacked.

"**Well you puny human, I'm going to miss you"** the fox said, a smirk on his face.

"Ditto, ditto on all the lovey dovey stuff." He sighed "Now than how do I get you out of there?" a thoughtful expression covering his face.

"**Well I've been seeping my youkai into your body over the last 6 years so I'm going to push the rest of my power into your body, where my mind will be released from this seal, a fair warning though; this is gonna hurt like a bitch." **The kyuubi stated.

And just like that Naruto fell to his knees, his teeth gritted together in pain as a grunt escaped from his lips. It quickly came to pass though and when he stood up he was greeted with the sight of an empty cage, it's doors lying open. Standing there was the kyuubi but he looked like a ghost, like an image of the real thing.

"**Well, I'm going to open the portal now that I've given you almost everything I have; my power, my knowledge. What do you want now? My dashing good looks?"** he said, the humour evident in his eyes.

Naruto rolled his eyes "you know you love me" he fired back. They fist-bumped once more as an oval of red plasma appeared before him.

"**You're gonna go far kid, see ya later."**

"To infinity and beyond...or some shit like that I guess." And with a shrug of his shoulders he was gone.

# # # # # # #

**A.N. hello there possible readers of this story, this is my first fanfic ever so you know the usuall, expect mistakes. This is going to be exclusively naruto x blake, NO HAREM! I find them really weird. Anyway sorry if this felt rushed, I want to get naruto out of his world as soon as possible. Don't worry though, lot's of flashbacks of his training. He'll be pretty overpowered in this story because why the hell not?**

**Signing out,**

**FiddlerTheClown p.s. I'm not a paedophile, and feel free to message me with any questions.**


	2. Chapter 2 Where the fuck am I?

Just another peaceful day in Remnant, the birds were signing, the sun was shining, blood-thirsty monsters were patrolling the forests waiting to devour any puny human...well you get the idea.

A seemingly endless expanse of forest swept across the land, the trees were tall and lush. But just bordering the horizon a speck could be seen which, if one looked closely, seemed to be a city of sorts.

Naruto took all of this in, storing it into the back of his mind for possible later use, he was a shinobi after all.

But as he let out a sigh he turned to face the biggest problem since entering this world, he was falling rapidly towards the earth from roughly a mile up.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" he shouted, his words instantly lost in the wind. But none the less he turned around to face the ground rushing towards him.

"Let's see if that elemental training paid off, more importantly I better be able to use chakra or I'm going to tear that fox a new asshole." He mumbled to himself.

As he reached the tops of the trees he stretched out his arms. "Futon; Daitoppa" to his immense relief he felt the familiar rush of chakra through his arms as a powerful blast of wind cushioned his impact...mostly.

"Oooooowwww" he moaned, sitting up groggily "that fucking hurt." He got up slowly dusting himself off as he did.

"First order of business (deep breath) yep, the air's breathable. Second order of business, time to release this god-awful henge, now that I'm in a new world who gives a shit what people think?"

And with a shout of kai his image faded slowly away, the hideous abomination that was his orange jacket was replaced with a black, long-sleeve, baggy shirt with a high collar. His trousers were quite similar however they seemed to be wrapped in bandages around the ankles.

The most notable change of all was the red, clay samurai style armour covering his chest, shoulders and just below his hips. **A.N. Madara Uchiha,** **google search if you don't watch Naruto(He's bad-ass)**

Where had been standing at a measly 4 foot 7, he had stretched to about 6 foot, his wild, scraggy blonde hair was now held back in a ponytail.

His small chubby face lost its baby fat and took on a more angular shape, his whisker marks becoming more defined.

"That feels so much better" he said turning around but stopped himself when he saw an orange tuft of fur at his feet.

"Are you serious!?" he cried noticing the nine orange tails with white tips waving around him, it seemed like absorbing the kyuubi's power hadn't come without side affects after all.

He quickly cast another henge to hide them."I'll worry about that later, first I'm gonna have to find a place to stay until I get more information on this world, hopefully it's a bit more fun than the last one."

And so, he pumped some chakra into his legs and sped off through the trees, heading in the direction he'd seen the city earlier.

# # # # # # # # #

Halfway to the city and Naruto had run into a problem, well ...about 9 problems if you want to be specific.

He squinted, looking into the darkened spots in between the trees. 9 pairs of glowing red eyes stared back at him, quite a terrifying sight to most people but it seemed as though lady luck was not on their side.

Naruto was not most people and years of living on the streets, being beaten, and the small matter of being 75% insane had given him quite a sang-froid attitude in the face of any kind of danger.

The Alpha beowolf hesitated for a second looking into the cold, maniacal eyes of the man standing in front of him.

"You're one ugly bastard, aren't you?" he raised an eyebrow as he looked up at the figure towering over him, what appeared to be a completely black bear with a skull mask and red glowing eyes stood there growling at him.

The bear roared as though it had heard what he had said, lunging at him suddenly, its claws outstretched. To its surprise a grin had threatened to split Naruto's face at the prospect of a fight as the deadly grimm lunged towards him. "Shall we dance, my dear? " he exclaimed, giggling with excitement and insanity as he sprang into action.

# # # # # # # # #

3 hours later Naruto wandered into the town, much to the bewilderment of the townspeople. It wasn't everyday a teenager wearing samurai armour stumbled into town covered in grimm blood. And quite frankly the psychotic grin that covered his face was starting to unnerve some of the people walking on the streets. "Hee, hee, hee" Naruto giggled to himself, freaking out the passerbys even more.

"Now THIS! Is world I can live in." He shouted, causing several people around him to jump in surprise, wondering who the insane blonde was.

"Well now that I've gotten that out of my system I should probably find some place to stay, and (sniff, sniff) have a shower"

He looked around and realised something, he couldn't read any of the signs or notices at all.

"Please, PLEASE don't tell me they don't speak a different language here" he said, a look of hopelessness slowly seeping onto his face. He sprinted up to a seemingly normal man walking down the street.

"Hello there my good man, could you direct me the nearest hostel by any chance?" he asked, hope barely concealed on his face.

Which was quickly wiped off when the man replied... in a language Naruto couldn't understand at all.

All the previous joy and mirth from earlier was now completely gone from his face. "You're absolutely certain you can't understand me?" he asked the man again, for the fourth time in a row during the relatively one-sided conversation the man looked at him in confusion.

Naruto let out a tired sigh as he walked away from the man, at this point in time he really didn't know what he was going to do.

He continued down the street looking for a place to stay, he didn't have many other options.

He eventually ended up outside of what appeared to be quite a fancy hotel, judging by the marble, the gold and the tinted glass decorating the entrance.

"Well fuck it, here goes nothing" he said to himself as he pushed open the glass door.

# # # # # # # # #

Naruto flopped back onto the bed of the room he had rented, as he recalled the events that had transpired downstairs at the hotel lobby.

After the several minutes of a) the receptionist looking at the grimm blood covering him in disgust or b) the receptionist looking at him in confusion as he tried to ask for a room. Eventually he gave up trying to use words and pointed at one of the room keys on the rack and dumped some gold coins on the desk.

The receptionist had, at that point, caught on to what Naruto had being trying to signify and had promptly given him the key to the room after taking some of the gold coins.

After taking a long hot shower Naruto had decided to double check all of his gear. You couldn't be too careful in a world full of monsters threatening to wipe out humanity.

To be honest though Naruto couldn't have cared less about being careful, he just liked to make sure his weapons of murder were in the best condition to slide through someone's skull.

None the less he bit his thumb and wiped the blood across his forearm as an extremely intricate pattern of flowing ink lines appeared, a small puff of smoke and _voila_..."Why is there a fish in my hand?"

Naruto peered down at his hands, his eyebrow raised at the fact that there was a plump yellow fish flopping around in his hands in his palm. His eye caught on a piece of folded paper under it, he quickly put the fish on the bed as he opened up the slip of paper.

"**Yo, what's up slut-bag? I can't wait to see the look on your little human face when you find out they probably speak another language wherever the fuck you are. But because I'm such a kind and loving soul I decided to put a babel-fish in one of your storage seals. Just stick it in your ear and you should be able to understand any spoken language automatically, pretty amazing right? Some depressed little robot called marvin gave it to me once. Anyway you won't be able to write the language straight away so get your lazy white ass to a library!**

**Your supreme overlord, The Kyuubi no Kitsune."**

Naruto rolled his eyes at the foxes way of writing but none the less was still pretty impressed with the little fish that was wriggling around on the bed beside him.

"Here we go" he said as he lifted the fish and shoved it into his ear.

"I probably should go to the library to be honest, I would like to be able to read and write by the ripe old age of seventeen"

# # # # # # # #

Naruto was sitting in same position as he had been sitting for the last 12 hours in his hotel room. He, along with about ten shadow clones were all sitting around reading books on literature, calligraphy and history that had been taken from the library the previous night.

Well, they were all reading except Naruto who had been sitting the desk typing furiously on a laptop he had 'borrowed' from a man sleeping in the floor below him. He had decided it would be good practise to actually write a story to improve his knowledge on this new language.

"If some weirdo loser out there can write some creepy fanfiction about me and sasuke being gay than I don't see why I can't actually write a published story to improve my English" were his words of wisdom as he had started writing and publishing novels, making enough money to live in various hotels as he learnt Remnants culture.

And so just like that two years practically flew by in between the book writing, making some of these new fangled guns , learning to use 'aura' and murdering hundreds and thousands of grimm. Also he had killed quite a few of the so called "White Fang" after they had tried to mug him and after learning about the faunus he couldn't really blame them.

But life went on and Naruto was starting to get bored, but it seemed as though fate had seen this and had made it its job to give the poor boy some jolly good entertainment.

# # # # # # #

As Naruto came in the doorway of another countless hotel and dumped his samurai armor onto the bed he noticed a letter addressed to him lying on the desk. He opened it up and read it quickly...

Dear 'The Unknown Shinobi'

It has come to my attention that you appear to be quite a skilled warrior and with no previous history in any of the combat schools across Remnant I'm quite curious regarding your history. I would like to talk with you in person, if you could meet me at this address than I'm sure I could offer you a tempting proposal. Address : blah blah blah blah blah blah blah,

Professor Ozpin

Naruto was quite excited at the prospect of meeting this 'professor Ozpin' and to be honest under all the layers of suffering and coldness and insanity he had built up over the years, he was only an eighteen year old young man.

He still had the rest of his life to live even if he didn't actually care about his well-being. The prospect of being a hunter was, in his eyes, quite an acceptable notion. He needed something to fill his time after all.

Free training grounds, free education and most importantly unlimited slaughter to quench his need to dine upon the flesh sounded quite inviting.

With his mind made up he sealed all the weapons and clothes and junk littered around his hotel room. And just like he was away, skipping down the street and making it his mission to make people wonder "Just who is that insane blond guy skipping down the street?!" So far he was succeeding magnificently.

# # # # # # # #

Ozpin sat down at the table he had reserved in a cafe on the main street of vale, he had been quite interested in the so called 'nameless shinobi' that had popped up about a year ago. Reports had come into his office of a young man dressed in samurai armor who had been moving around towns decimating grimm in the surrounding forests.

He had been searching for the, apparently, young man to recruit him for Beacon. He would be quite an interesting conundrum to have at his school and if the reports on his fighting abilities were accurate he could become quite a valuable asset in the future.

He was pulled unceremoniously from his musings as he heard the chair across from him being pulled out.

"Professor Ozpin I assume?" came the questioning voice of the armor clad figure in front of him. "You assume correctly, I'll take it you are the 'nameless shinobi'? First of all I'd like to know the name of a warrior such as yourself."

"Naruto Uzu-fuckin-maki at your service." Came the reply.

Ozpin looked quite amused at the young man sitting in front of him. "A bit young for that kind of language aren't we?"

"Well, one of my ways of life is ; old enough to die=old enough to drink, swear and fuck" came the quick response from the blonde.

"Anyway professor, I'm sure you haven't come here to debate your way of life with, have you?"

"Quite right my good man, the level of skill that has been rumoured about you is quite impressive. Furthermore, that, mixed with your age has caused me to think about it and I'd like to recruit you for Beacon. Sound good?"

It didn't take long for Naruto to make his mind up. "That sounds delicious, my good man."

Ozpin looked confused at the odd remark but none the less he was quite pleased he had gotten Naruto to join Beacon. "Well I'll see you there" he said, getting up to leave.

However he couldn't shake the feeling he might've made a mistake when he saw the saw the smile on Naruto's face.

A grave mistake indeed...

**Well lads, there's chapter 2. Sorry it took so long but it is motherfucking Christmas my friends. Any way, if you don't read Naruto just think of him as an OC. Also I'm going to make Naruto a mix of awesome, cold, badassery and bat-shit insanity.**

**I don't mind if you leave flames, I like laughing at stupidity. FiddlerTheClown **


	3. 3 I love the smell of children!

**Hello there people of this new-fangled interweb. Just a quick author's note before we start; first and foremost, sorry for the long wait. A mix of things really, shitty internet, shitty parents, nice holidays, laziness and secondly; the passing of the legendary Mounty Oum. **

**To be honest I nearly threw my laptop through the window when I heard the news, he was a hero of mine and he inspired me to write, animate and create. I'll miss you, you sexy beast. I don't really believe in the afterlife but if it is real I get the feeling he's up there somewhere, dancing. Thank you for everything.**

**Also I've finally come up with a semi-original title (Thank you jinx777 I fucking love your stories) and sorry about the lack of insanity fuelled blood lust, it'll happen soon I promise.**

Naruto smiled to himself, it wasn't so often that he got to relax in-between his mindless insanity. He was currently meditating, his legs in a full lotus position with his hands resting on his knees. He let out a deep brea"BBBbbbbbbllluuurrrggghhh"... "Jesus, he just threw up on the floor" "God that's disgusting"

Naruto let out an irritated sigh as he cracked an eye open. And was promptly met with sight of a blonde boy throwing up on the floor, with a bunch of kids shouting at him

"Oh for fucks sake" Naruto mumbled to himself. He closed his eye once again and tried to drown out the shouting.

It seemed as though that wasn't to be as he felt the blonde running towards him, on account of the bin beside him.

Without opening his eyes Naruto swung out his palm, catching the running blonde in the stomach. He somersaulted over Narutoe's palm and crashed into the floor.

"Hey! What was that for!?" the blonde shouted at him. Without even looking at him Naruto replied "You don't feel like throwing up any more, do you?"

The blonde was quite taken back by that answer as he realised that Naruto was correct, he DIDN'T feel like throwing up anymore.

"Oh, thanks... uh?

"You can call me the Notorious Bum Fiddler"

"Well thank you...WAIT your name is what!?"

The blonde looked up at Naruto in confusion only to find he had disappeared. "Well...uuhhh...he was weird"

And now with all the confusion over, we can take a good look at the blonde boy. He was actually quite similar to Naruto on account of the blonde hair and blue eyes, they were also similar in the fact that the boy was tall and lanky, Naruto was built similarly except with more muscle. He wore a black hoodie and had various parts of white armor strapped onto his chest and arms. From the waist down he was clad in a simple pair of jeans.

His name was Jaune Arc "How did you know that?" you might ask, because I'm the author that's how. Now shut up and read the story

Naruto sat back and let out a sigh, he was currently in the airship taking the new students to Beacon. After making a promise to Ozpin not to directly traumatize the students TOO much, he'd gone home and sealed all of his possessions into the storage seals along his body.

Eventually he'd gotten another letter from Ozpin on the time and location of one of the dropships, and had made his way over to the location.

He now found himself pondering on a conundrum that had popped into his mind; should he hold back his power OR should he let loose and scare the shit out of everybody.

After a few minutes of careful consideration he had reached a compromise, he would draw a suppression seal on his body to hold back some of his power. He still wanted to show off his awesomeness after all.

Still sitting with his back to a window he rolled up his sleeve, bit his thumb and wiped the blood on his forearm revealing another intricate tattoo. As the small puff of smoke cleared he was left with a small bottle of ink and a brush.

This had gotten quite a surprised reaction from the student next to him. She had been reading one of her many books when the blond next to her drew his own blood and summoned the ink bottle.

Her confusion increased when she saw the insane blond starting to draw another of the fancy tattoos on the back of his neck.

"Like a glyph" she whispered to herself, but Naruto wasn't called a shinobi for nothing and had easily heard the girl. He turned to look her in the eye, still drawing, and replied "Indeed, except much, much better" an insane gleam in his eye.

The poor girl looked somewhat startled that he had heard her but regained her calm composure quickly enough. "Better than a glyph?" she questioned. Her eyes were hypnotised by the blonde boy's hands, they were flowing like water across his neck, each swift stroke creating a precise line of ink on his skin.

"Seals are capable of so much more than glyphs, the only thing that limits a seal user is their own imagination. A pity the art of _fuuinjutsu _is rarely practised anymore"

The girl looked up at that, she had read about the long lost art of _fuuinjutsu_ in one of the many books she possessed. It was said to have died out on account of it being almost impossible to perform.

When Naruto looked back at her after a few minutes of drawing, she was still entranced by the seal he had created. Naruto took the time to take a good look at her.

She had long flowing black hair and bright amber eyes, Naruto saw sorrow and loneliness in those eyes that reminded him greatly of himself.

She wore a black buttoned vest with coat-tails on the back and front revealing her midriff, and a white sleeveless undershirt.

She wore white stockings that faded to purple covering her legs and a pair of low heeled shoes.

What drew the most of his attention was the bow that covered the top of her head. He immediately assumed that she was a faunus judging by the loneliness in her eyes.

She was quite an attractive girl and at that point Naruto had decided that he would befriend her, if she carried on like she was she would become just as insane as he was. He knew the pain that insanity brought better than anyone and he knew he would he have to give her a push in the right direction.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, snapping her out of her trance. "You like what you see?" he asked suggestively, wriggling his eyebrows.

She punched him lightly on the shoulder trying to keep her calm face on. "I was just fascinated by the seal. Nobody's seen one in hundreds of years."

"Of course you were, well I'm going to try and relax a little bit before we depart." He replied, leaning back.

"And why would that be?" she asked, intruiged as to what the blonde would be saving his strength for.

"because I POWDERED MY COCKATIEL FOR THE RIBCAGE SLAUGHTER!"

She jumped back a bit at the answer she had gotten, all the students around them had jumped back in surprise as well and were now staring at the clearly insane blonde.

"Umm...care to explain?" she questioned. "potato" was the answer and just like that Naruto slumped back against the window of the dropship already asleep.

* * *

><p>Naruto stood and brushed himself off. "Well, that was a nice nap but it's time to eat babies...wait, no that doesn't sound right. What was it again? Oh yeah, time to go to school."<p>

"Wait a sec I never got your name." He asked the student sitting beside him.

She blinked owlishly as she realised he was correct. "Oh, right I'm Blake. And what would your name be Mr Crazy?"

"Ah, ah, ah" Naruto tutted "Not crazy, creatively insane. Please learn the difference my dear."

Blake smiled at the response. She blinked in surprise as however when the blondes shadow seemed to reach up and cover him. "See you later." A wink and a smile later the blonde was gone.

"I never did get his name" Blake mused to herself.

* * *

><p>"Aloha Beacon! WHO'S READY TO FLAY SOME SCALPS?!" Naruto exclaimed, arms outstretched while the other students were left to wonder how he had appeared in a swirl of shadows.<p>

Many different thoughts were running through the heads of the students as they looked up at the rising spires of Beacon such as; "Woah, I can't wait to start school" or "I feel really intimidated" or even "I wonder what that tree tastes like?"

That last thought courtesy of Naruto (obviously) as he ran over to the nearest tree and took a bite out of it. "Uugghh, tastes like wood" he said, spitting out the bark.

He set off none the less to do... god knows what, probably looking for something interesting when he stopped and put his hands up to his head.

"hhmmm...a disturbance in the force I feel"

His ability to sense free entertainment had grown progressively over the years and had helped him on numerous occasions to pass the time.

After hours of honing this particular skill he had reached such a mastery that he knew when even animals were providing free entertainment. Truly a feat that had been lost for generations.

Getting back on track, the Blonde hopped away zoning in on the disturbance he had felt.

He saw a petite young girl in some kind of black and red dress being yelled at by an equally petite girl in a white dress.

He recognised her as Weiss Shnee, heiress to the Shnee dust company. But just looking at her give out like she thought she was entitled to it rubbed him the wrong way.

He was going to walk over and see what the fuss was about when he spotted a glint of sunlight, it was coming from a bottle full of dust in her hand and she was shaking it quite animatedly.

An unsettling grin spread across his face when he saw the possibility of messing with the strict girl, also he didn't really want to let the other girl get exploded on her first day

And looking at the dust bottle being waved around in the girls face his reflexes kicked in.

* * *

><p>"Do you what this is you dunce?! It's du..." she was cut off when the bottle in her hand seemed to disappear. A gasp of surprise came from her lips when she noticed the blonde in samurai armor idly tossing the bottle up and down.<p>

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to cause explosions? that's _my_ job" She was lost for words at the maniacal grin on his face. She snapped out of it when she noticed the bottle flying towards her.

Having been caught unaware she was quite petrified as the bottle of highly explosive substance flew towards her. She closed her eyes as she waited for the explosion.

Ruby, the girl that had been getting yelled at, had her mouth wide open. In a matter of minutes she had been yelled at, almost exploded and was now watching as the insane looking young man was about to kill the girl in front of her.

Emphasise on _about_, as she blinked the blonde was suddenly gone wisps of smoke where he had been. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw that he now had his outstretched hand right in front of Weiss's face, the bottle safely in his hand.

That had to be the most impressive bout of speed she had ever seen, and he was only a few a years older than her!

Weiss recovered quickly, her face filled with fury "You could have killed me! You dunce, do you know who I am?!" she was cut off by his now stern voice "Weiss Shnee, heiress to the Schnee dust incorporation. You act as if I should give a shit, why? What could possibly draw you to the conclusion that I would ever care for your opinion?"

"Ugh...why you...the nerve" she cried out as she left.

Ruby blinked as she realised there was an outstretched hand in front of her face, She grasped it and nearly squeaked in surprise when he practically threw her onto her feet.

"Oh...ugh...sorry about all of that, I knocked over one of her cases. Thanks for the save." She said

"Uzumaki Naruto at your service." He replied.

"Ruby Rose" he chuckled a bit at her name.

She looked at him in concern remembering what had just happened.

"Wasn't that bit over-kill though? Ya know...the whole exploding bottle thing?"

"How could it be over-kill if I didn't kill her?" he asked, giggling at the last part.

She let out a sigh "You're not joking are you? Do you have any sanity at all?"

"Sanity?...why would I have any need for a useless thing like that?"

She just stared at him, a weird look on her face.

Suddenly a loud voice could heard over the loudspeakers around the school. "**Attention Naruto Uzumaki, Attention Naruto Uzumaki. This is professor Ozpin here just reminding you about how you said you wouldn't scar any of my students. That will be all"**

Ruby gave him another strange look "He actually made you say that?"

Naruto shrugged "Let's just say I don't have the best track record, sound good? Anyway I'll see you later" and just like that he disappeared in a swirl of shadows.

"Wait!...ugh I still don't know where to go" Ruby let out a frustrated sigh, it would take a miracle to get her there now. The miracle came in the form of being knocked over "Oh sorry about that, my name's Jaune."

* * *

><p>"Hey Ruby! Over here!" Ruby looked around and spotted her sister calling her over.<p>

Naruto was casually leaning back against the far wall of the hall they were supposed to come to, waiting for Ozpin to appear.

And it looked as though his wish had just been granted.

"I'll keep this brief, I blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ..." once again one of Naruto,s strongest abilities kicked in, the 'ignore bullshit' technique. He just sat back and closed his eyes.

Ozpin was still going strong however as he continued "but all I see is wasted potential" everyone looked around at that as murmuring rippled through the hall. Naruto, quite frankly, was getting bored. Time to spice things up a bit.

Ozpin was about to continue when out of nowhere he was shoved onto the floor, a figure now stood in the centre of the stage. He appeared to be dressed in a black hoodie with a pair of sunglasses on.

Everyone was on edge, ready to attack this man when, at last, he spread his words of wisdom among the masses.

"FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" And thus on that day a legend had been born, the notorious 'fred' of Beacon had made his first appearance.

Ozpin dusted himself off as the figure ran out of the hall. He looked out over the sea of students only to be met with wide eyes and open mouths. With one exception...you guessed it already didn't you? Well done, give yourself a pat on the back.

Ozpin stared at the smirking figure at the back with an expression of mild surprise. "How had the insane blond it?" he shook himself out of his musings, he had students to lecture after all.

Naruto laughed a bit inside is head, god bless the shadow clone and the henge. With his work done he closed his eyes again as Ozpin continued with his speech.

Eventually when Naruto opened his eyes he realised everyone was leaving the hall, "well for once I might as well follow the crowd"

Eventually he found his way to another hall, albeit quite a fancier one. As he looked around he realised everyone was getting ready for sleep.

He looked around until his eyes stopped on an unoccupied corner, he made his way over to the corner and slumped against the wall.

Eventually he finished the laborious task of removing his armor and sat down, his hands on his knees. Leaving on his baggy trousers on he took of his baggy shirt earning a few worried looks from other students in regards to the numerous, jagged scars littered around his torso. He paid them no mind and proceeded to jot down notes into a notebook that had appeared out of nowhere.

He relaxed in the silence, letting it wash over him. The world round him washed away as all that was left was him, his notebook, and his creativity.

He was interrupted when a figure slid down the wall beside him.

"I never did get your name" he looked over, a smile already on his face as he saw Blake dressed in a black sleeping yukata, a book in her hand.

"Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto" he replied. They both sat there in comfortable silence, reading and writing until eventually Blake broke the silence.

"So what are you writing anyway?"

Naruto laughed at this, boy was she in for a surprise. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, I'm just writing the sequel to the book you're reading."

The blank look on her face was quite amusing to Naruto as he waited for the words to sink in.

Surprisingly though, instead of disbelief a deep crimson blush spread across her face.

Naruto was actually confused until suddenly an insane cackle escaped his lips which escalated into full blown maniacal laughter.

If it was even possible her blush became even more pronounced on her pale skin.

"Well well well, what do we have here? Could my innocent, little friend read (exaggerated gasp) erotic literature?"

The suspected "Shut up" was lost among his evil cackles. You see, when Naruto was writing books he realised, like his 'sensei' before him that porn sold really well. And thus the sell-out title 'Ninjas of love' had been born.

Blake had remembered the name of the author when Naruto had mentioned the book she was reading. "Don't you dare tell anyone" she hissed out.

"Don't worry, I'm just fucking with ya." Blake let out a sigh of relief, than looked up as an orange book was passed over to her.

"Here, this is the book it was based off, translated of course." She opened the novel onto a random page and read a paragraph.

Naruto looked over at her, clutching his sides in silent laughter at the sight. She sat there frozen, her eyes wide, her face the shade of a tomato as blood dribbled from her nose.

He lifted his head up when he heard a shout. "Hello, I believe you two have met? I'm Yang" he looked up at the busty blond pointing at Ruby.

"Why indeed Boris, I would love a jellybean" the answer she received was not one she was expecting judging by the confused look etched across her face.

She spun round to look at Ruby "Why didn't you tell he was crazy?" she whispered loudly "I tried but you ran off!"

Naruto snickered at the conversation being held right in front of him "Jeez, when will you people ever learn the difference. Not crazy, creatively insane."

Yang looked back at him and let out a sigh "Anyway what happened to her?" she asked, pointing at the dazed girl beside him, the book still in her hand.

Naruto giggled a bit "I think I might have broken her." He replied

Having a quick peek into the book in she was reading Yang laughed a bit and started poking her. "My tease sense is off the scale."

Ruby, being as naeive as ever, was entirely confused by the whole ordeal and was trying to look at the book.

"I love books" she said eventually "Yang used to read to read to me every night, I wanted to be just like the heroes in the stories" Naruto just listened, her sudden mood swing gaining his attention .

"I want to make the world a better place."

"Well that depends, doesn't it?" Ruby looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You said 'make the world a better place' and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I agree with that. How would you be making the world a better place, exactly?"

Ruby looked at him, dumbfounded. No one had ever actually questioned her before, at this point they had casually dismissed her idea as a little girl's ramblings. And to be quite honest she wasn't sure how to answer his question.

"Um... by beating the bad guys?" she asked hesitantly. "And who exactly would those so-called bad guys be?"

"Grimm, the white fang... crime in general?"

"Okay, now let's take the white fang. For example, once you arrest a member do you know what happens next?"

This time she was sure of her answer "They go to jail, obviously." "What then?" he snapped back.

At this point Ruby had to really think about it and even then she didn't have answer. "Uggghhhh..."

Naruto cut in "then their whole family starves on the side of the street" he replied calmly.

"As a faunus your only real option in terms of money, in most cases, is joining the white fang. And when they're put in jail their siblings have to join the white fang to pay to support whatever family is leftover, it's an endless cycle."

Everybody around them was just staring at him, utterly dumbfounded by what he had just said.

Ruby was the first to speak "Do you really think that?"

Naruto let out a tired sigh "I don't believe in right and wrong, everything that is right is wrong in some ways and vice-versa, the only thing that could be called fair in this world is the 24 hours we are given every day. And yet the only thing stopping us from doing the really cool things is time. I thoroughly believe in giving everything you've got into whatever you're doing with the time you're given, nothing else matters. Right and wrong are irrelevant, if you're giving 100% then I don't care what it is you're doing."

Ruby looked down, a shadow crossing her face "Well with the time I have I'm going to become the best huntress ever!" she exclaimed, looking up at him. A wide smile on her face.

Naruto chuckled as he ruffled her hair "I'm sure you will Ruby" Ruby looked around a bit, for some reason almost everybody around them was sleeping. "That's weird, everybody's asleep already."

Naruto dismissed her worry with a casual flick of his wrist but was interrupted by Yang "Did you have anything to do with this Mr Crazy?" she asked, lips pouted. Blake snapped out of the trance she was in with a shake of her head, now looking at him as well "You did, didn't you?"

"I can't have _everybody_ knowing I'm only 73.6% insane now can I?"

Blake just let out a sigh and blew out the candles beside her.

* * *

><p>"Ozpin, there's something different about that boy. I don't think we can trust him, his ethical views are juvenile and ignorant." Glynda said, her eyes locked onto the scroll in front of her. She was taken back however by the edge to Ozpin's voice.<p>

"Glynda, you would well not to judge those you know nothing about. This boy, no, this young man has suffered in ways you couldn't even imagine,I can tell just by looking into his eyes, his hypothetical views are, for a child, strikingly well developed . His power reading is over 9000(I couldn't help it, sue me), and as much as I hate to admit it, based off the broken bits of video I have, he could probably kill us all if he tried hard enough."

Glynda, for once in her life, was struggling to find words. "B-but he is childish and arrogant and is quite frankly quite silly, trying to hide his emotions behind a mask of insanity!"

"It is not arrogance, it is confidence. I have fought in wars before and I have seen the greatest soldiers reduced to mere husks of their former selves but what he has done is magnificent, truly astounding. He has taken the insanity, brought on by causes unknown to me at this time and used it to his advantage. He now exists split in between insanity and the cold analytical mind of a soldier, it is a miracle he has not become a serial killer, to be honest."

Glynda just narrowed her eyes at him "You better keep a close eye on him, Ozpin"

"I'll try my best" he let out with a sigh. "It's better he's on our side in the end, because if he wasn't only god knows if we would survive"

**That concludes chapter 3, see if you can spot any hidden easter eggs. I started writing this, as they sat in Ireland, for the **_**craic**_** but with all your reviews it has been an extremely gratifying experience. Thank you for that.**

**If you like insane Naruto I would strongly recommend "the true horror of konoha" one of my favourite stories and a great inspiration(Also, I just realised the person who wrote it; jinx777, commented on this story. Holy shit I fucking love you dude, please keep writing.) Also please, fucking **_** please**_** watch "ninjabridge" on youtube, episodes 1-9 because(a) the later episodes made me piss myself laughing and (b) I'll probably reference it a lot.**

**In response the GreatZero's comment I think him being some kind of teacher is definitely something I could try since he is pretty over-powered. Bit of a spoiler here; the Akatsuki are coming to get him –insert shocked gasp- should turn out interesting.**

**Hope you're ready to see Naruto kick ass next with a combat style which only the most hardcore of Naruto fans will remember, I'm quite proud of the fact that I've never seen it being used before. Holy shit, something original on this website? You might ask. Well I godamn hope so.**

**FiddlerTheClown signing out, time to hope into my white van "Who wants candy?"**


End file.
